Can a Christian Marry a Non-Christian? 2 Corinthians 6:14

Maybe you are dating someone who does not share your faith, or you are already married and came to Christ after the wedding. Either way, you have probably heard the phrase "unequally yoked." Here is what the Bible says about a Christian marrying a non-Christian, how churches apply it, and what Scripture says to those already in a mixed-faith marriage.

What 2 Corinthians 6:14 says

Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership can righteousness have with wickedness? Or what fellowship does light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? (2 Corinthians 6:14–15, BSB)

A yoke is a wooden beam that joins two animals so they pull a plow together. The law of Moses has a related command:

Do not plow with an ox and a donkey yoked together. (Deuteronomy 22:10, BSB)

Paul uses the image for a relationship that binds two people to move in the same direction.

Is "unequally yoked" only about marriage?

The verse does not mention marriage. The next lines are about the temple of God and idols:

What agreement can exist between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: “I will dwell with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be My people.” (2 Corinthians 6:16, BSB)

Some churches apply the passage to any binding partnership, including business. Many apply it mainly to marriage. The most direct New Testament word on marrying a believer comes in Paul's instruction to widows:

A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, as long as he belongs to the Lord. (1 Corinthians 7:39, BSB)

In the Old Testament, God told Israel not to intermarry with the nations of Canaan, and gave the reason:

Do not intermarry with them. Do not give your daughters to their sons or take their daughters for your sons, because they will turn your sons away from following Me to serve other gods. Then the anger of the LORD will burn against you, and He will swiftly destroy you. (Deuteronomy 7:3–4, BSB)

How churches handle it

Most Protestant churches encourage believers to marry other believers. Beyond that, practice differs:

• Some churches counsel believers to date only other Christians, since dating usually leads toward marriage. Pastors sometimes warn against "missionary dating," starting a relationship in hope that the other person will come to faith.
• Some pastors will not officiate a wedding between a believer and a non-believer. Others will, after premarital counseling.
• Many encourage the other person to explore the faith, while cautioning against a profession of faith made only to get married.

The Catholic Church addresses this in canon law. Under canon 1086 of the Code of Canon Law, a marriage between a Catholic and an unbaptized person is invalid without a dispensation. Under canon 1124, marrying a baptized Christian of another church requires the express permission of the competent authority. Canon 1125 asks the Catholic party to promise to do all in their power to have the children baptized and raised Catholic, and the other party must be informed of that promise.

If you are dating or engaged

Can two walk together without agreeing where to go? (Amos 3:3, BSB)

• Talk honestly about what your faith means to you: Sunday worship, prayer, giving.
• Talk through the practical questions. Will the children go to church? How will you handle holidays and family traditions?
• Ask your pastor or a mature Christian friend for counsel.
• Give yourself time to pray. You do not have to decide under pressure.

If you are already married to an unbeliever

Some people come to faith years into a marriage. Others married when they saw things differently. Paul wrote directly to believers in that situation:

To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If a brother has an unbelieving wife and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has an unbelieving husband and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his believing wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. (1 Corinthians 7:12–14, BSB)

Paul says the unbelieving spouse is sanctified through the believing one, and the children are holy. The marriage and the family have a place before God. He adds:

How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? (1 Corinthians 7:16, BSB)

Peter also notes that a believer's everyday life at home speaks for itself:

Wives, in the same way, submit yourselves to your husbands, so that even if they refuse to believe the word, they will be won over without words by the behavior of their wives when they see your pure and reverent demeanor. (1 Peter 3:1–2, BSB)

Paul addresses the case of an unbelieving spouse who chooses to leave in 1 Corinthians 7:15. Every marriage is different, so when things are hard, bring it to your pastor and pray together. If there is abuse in the marriage, make your safety and your children's safety the first priority and seek professional help.

How church family can help

Whether someone is dating a non-Christian or has a spouse who does not believe, what they usually need from church is support, not blame. Pray for their household, and welcome the unbelieving spouse to services and church events.

If it is possible on your part, live at peace with everyone. (Romans 12:18, BSB)

For a longer look at the Bible's description of love, see 1 Corinthians 13.

Penned Grace lets you write scripture by hand, letter by letter, on iPhone, iPad or Android, with your finger or Apple Pencil. It is free to download. If you are praying for your spouse or your family, writing out 1 Corinthians 7:12–16 slowly is one way to pray through it.